Core Memories Aren’t Just for Kids— Here's How to Create Them at Any Age

A few months ago, I watched Inside Out with my 5-year-old son for the first time. For those who haven’t seen it, it’s the Pixar film that turns emotions into characters—Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear, and Disgust—living inside the mind of an 11-year-old girl named Riley. It’s a smart, sweet movie, and as a wellness writer and longtime observer of human behavior, I appreciated the emotional nuance.

But what stayed with me most wasn’t Joy’s relentless optimism or Sadness’s quiet wisdom. It was the idea of core memories—those glowing, emotion-charged recollections that shape who we are. In the film, these memories float like orbs in the mind’s control center, anchoring Riley’s personality.

After the credits rolled, my son asked, “Do I have core memories, too?”

I told him yes, of course—and then I paused.

Because the truth is, I’ve always thought of core memories as something exclusive to childhood. Milestone moments. Firsts. Birthdays. The smell of your grandma’s kitchen. A flash of feeling so strong it burns into your brain forever.

But the more I sat with the question, the more I realized: core memories aren’t limited to childhood. We just stop noticing them as much as we age—or worse, stop making space for them at all.

This article is about how to change that.

What Are Core Memories?

Let’s take the Pixar concept and bring it into real-world psychology for a moment.

Core memories aren’t an official scientific term, but they closely align with what psychologists call self-defining memories or autobiographical memory. These are emotionally intense moments—positive or negative—that you recall often, vividly, and that help you understand your identity.

They’re the memories you reflect on when you say, “That changed me.” Not always big events. Sometimes it’s a quiet moment: watching snowfall for the first time, hearing a song that made you cry, sharing a look with someone who just got you.

These memories matter because they:

• Anchor your identity
• Reinforce your values
• Shape your worldview
• Impact your emotional regulation and how you respond to similar moments later

What’s often overlooked is that these kinds of memories can continue to form at any age. Our brains are wired for meaning-making, and that process doesn’t shut off after adolescence.

We just have to give it the right ingredients.

Why Adults Need Core Memories, Too

As we move through adulthood, routines take over. Life becomes a cycle of to-do lists, logistics, work emails, grocery runs, and general survival. Meaningful moments still happen, but they often get lost in the blur of everything else.

And yet, creating space for core memories in adulthood can have real mental health benefits. Research has linked meaningful life events with:

• Greater life satisfaction
• Improved emotional resilience
• A stronger sense of purpose
• Reduced symptoms of depression and anxiety

It’s not about chasing perfection or high-adrenaline experiences. It’s about being fully present in meaningful moments, so your brain registers them as important—and keeps them accessible in your internal archive.

And that kind of presence? It’s a skill you can build, no matter how busy your calendar looks.

How Core Memories Form

Not every special moment becomes a core memory. What sets them apart is the emotional charge and the depth of awareness you bring to them.

Here’s what helps:

1. Emotionally Intense Experiences

This doesn’t mean dramatic or chaotic. Just emotionally rich. A long hug after a tough day. The vulnerability of laughing-crying with a friend. A quiet sunrise that made you feel alive. Your brain flags emotional intensity as “worth remembering.”

2. Reflection and Meaning-Making

When we reflect—whether through journaling, storytelling, or simply thinking—we help cement that memory. It’s like carving a groove into your neural pathways.

Ask yourself: Why did this matter to me? What did I feel? What did I learn?

3. Sensory Input

Our brains love multi-sensory experiences. Sights, smells, sounds, and physical sensations help encode memories more vividly.

That’s why certain songs, scents, or tastes can take you back instantly.

4. Novelty and Surprise

Newness makes your brain pay attention. It’s why traveling, trying a new experience, or even taking a different route home can help create stronger memories.

The Myth of the “Big Moment”

There’s a cultural assumption that core memories come from milestone events: weddings, graduations, skydiving, career wins.

And while those moments absolutely count, many of our most defining memories are small and quiet—moments that caught us off guard because of how they felt, not how flashy they were.

For me, it’s not just my wedding day that stands out—it’s the moment before, standing in the hallway in a borrowed robe, holding my breath and listening to the soft hum of voices down the aisle. That still lives in me.

For you, it might be the moment your friend squeezed your hand before a scary appointment. Or that one dinner where the laughter was so loud you forgot what was weighing on you.

These are core memories, too.

You don’t have to wait for life to deliver them. You can cultivate them.

How to Create Core Memories as an Adult

Creating core memories isn’t about forcing meaning—it’s about making space for it. Here are a few ways to invite more of those unforgettable, identity-shaping moments into your life:

1. Be Fully There

It sounds simple, but presence is powerful. Ditch the multitasking, put your phone down, and give your full attention to the people or experience in front of you. Core memories don’t happen when we’re half-checked out.

2. Celebrate Micro-Milestones

You don’t need a party to honor progress. Cook a beautiful meal to celebrate a small win. Take yourself out after finishing a hard project. Write a letter to future you after surviving a tough season. When you ritualize your life, you tell your brain: this matters.

3. Do Something New (Even If It’s Small)

Try a hobby you’ve been curious about. Visit a new spot in your town. Make an unfamiliar recipe. Your brain loves novelty—it naturally pays more attention. New doesn’t have to be big. Just different.

4. Let Yourself Feel the Moment

We tend to brush past joy or quickly compartmentalize pain. But sitting with an emotion—letting it wash over you without rushing to label or fix it—builds depth. Those deep emotional dips and peaks are often what create lasting impressions.

5. Tell the Story (Even Just to Yourself)

We store memories more strongly when we give them shape. Write it down. Share it with a friend. Say it out loud in the car. Storytelling isn’t just for books—it’s how we make meaning out of experience.

Core Memories and Wellness: The Connection That’s Easy to Miss

You might be wondering: What does any of this have to do with wellness?

The answer is—everything.

Wellness isn’t just about nutrition labels and sleep trackers. It’s about connection, meaning, and the internal stories that give your life shape.

Core memories serve as emotional anchors. They remind you who you are when life gets noisy. They provide comfort in hard times, clarity when you feel lost, and joy when you most need it.

They don’t require perfection. They just require presence.

Path to Vibrancy

1. Set a “presence alarm.” Once a day, pause what you’re doing and fully tune into your senses. What can you see, hear, feel, smell, or taste? Anchor yourself in now.

2. Create a memory jar. Write down one meaningful moment each week—just a sentence or two. Revisit them when you need grounding.

3. Build sensory rituals. Light a specific candle when journaling. Walk the same trail during seasonal changes. Attach familiar smells or sounds to meaningful moments.

4. Ask others about their core memories. It deepens connection and often brings your own moments to the surface.

5. Reflect weekly. On Sunday night or Monday morning, jot down the moment from the past week that stuck with you. Ask: Why did this stand out?

You’re Still Becoming—Let Your Memories Reflect That

We don’t stop growing after childhood. And our most meaningful moments don’t expire after our teenage years. You can create core memories at 30, 50, 75, or 92. In fact, the older we get, the more layered and rich those moments can become.

Your brain isn’t just a filing cabinet—it’s a story vault. You get to choose what goes in it.

So don’t wait for the perfect moment. Notice the real ones. The ones that make you pause, or cry, or laugh harder than you expected. Those are the ones that last.

And they’re yours to make—at any age.