When Sadness Lingers: How to Tell If It’s More Than Just a Rough Patch

A few years ago, I went through what I called at the time a “low spell.” It followed a period of major life transitions—some joyful, others jarring—and what started as exhaustion slowly crept into something heavier. I’d brush it off to anyone who asked with, “Just a bit of a slump.” But the truth? It wasn’t going away.

I wasn’t crying every day, or stuck in bed. But everything felt muted. I wasn’t myself, and I didn’t know how to get back to me. What I eventually learned—through a mix of trial, error, and finally reaching out for help—is that not all sadness is created equal. Sometimes it really is just a rough patch. Other times, it’s depression—and knowing the difference matters.

This piece isn’t about self-diagnosing or jumping to conclusions. It’s about learning to recognize your own experience with kindness, clarity, and enough courage to ask: could this be something more?

What Is Depression—Really?

Let’s start here, because depression is one of the most misunderstood mental health conditions. It isn’t just feeling “really sad” or being in a funk. Clinical depression—also known as major depressive disorder (MDD)—is a medical condition that affects how you think, feel, and function in everyday life. It’s complex, nuanced, and incredibly common. According to the World Health Organization, around 332 million people globally live with depression, making it one of the leading causes of disability. And yet, because it doesn’t always look like what we see in movies or social media, it often goes undiagnosed—especially in women and people who are used to “pushing through.”

The Fine Line Between Sadness and Depression

So, how do you know if your sadness is just a rough stretch—or something more serious?

Here’s a helpful distinction:

Sadness is a healthy emotional response to difficult life events—loss, disappointment, transitions, or even hormonal shifts. It can feel intense, but it usually softens over time, and we’re still able to enjoy small moments and function relatively well.

Depression, on the other hand, tends to linger past the usual emotional recovery period. It often comes with other symptoms that sneak in—low energy, brain fog, hopelessness, disconnection from things you once enjoyed—and they stick around for two weeks or longer, more days than not.

And yes, depression can still show up even if everything “looks fine” on the outside.

8 Signs It Might Be More Than Just a Rough Patch

If you're not sure whether what you’re feeling could be depression, here are eight signs to pay attention to. You don’t need to check every box—but if several feel familiar, it’s worth reaching out to a mental health professional for support.

1. Your energy is consistently depleted

This goes beyond being tired from a busy week. It’s the kind of exhaustion that sleep doesn’t fix. Even simple tasks—like showering, replying to emails, or making breakfast—can feel overwhelming or strangely effortful.

2. Your interests feel flat or irrelevant

One of the hallmark signs of depression is anhedonia—the loss of interest in activities that used to bring joy. If you can’t remember the last time something made you laugh, or you feel numb during moments that used to lift you up, take note.

3. Your sleep or appetite has changed—noticeably

Depression can show up as insomnia or oversleeping, eating way more or having no appetite at all. These shifts don’t happen overnight, but they add up. And they’re your body’s way of saying: something’s not right.

4. You’re irritable or emotionally fragile more often than usual

Many people don’t associate depression with irritability—but it’s common, especially in high-functioning individuals. If your fuse feels shorter than normal or you cry at the drop of a hat, those could be signs, too.

5. You feel disconnected from yourself or others

It might feel like you’re floating through your day, watching yourself go through the motions but not really there. Or you might find yourself pulling away from people—not because you don’t care, but because it all feels too much.

6. You can’t focus or remember things clearly

Brain fog. Decision fatigue. Forgetting what you walked into the room for. Depression impacts cognitive function, often making everyday thinking tasks feel slippery or harder than they should be.

7. You feel hopeless—or like things won’t improve

One of the most insidious symptoms of depression is the belief that you’ll always feel this way. It’s not logical—it’s the depression talking. But when your mind starts painting a future that feels bleak or pointless, that’s a big red flag.

8. You’ve had intrusive or dark thoughts

If you’ve been having thoughts about hurting yourself, wishing you could disappear, or feeling like a burden to others, please know: these are urgent signs. You’re not alone, and help is available. These thoughts aren’t your fault—but they do deserve professional support.

High-Functioning Depression Is Still Depression

One of the trickiest parts about identifying depression—especially for adults juggling work, families, or caregiving—is that it doesn’t always look like complete collapse. You might still be going to work, attending school drop-offs, showing up at events. On the outside, things seem fine.

But if it takes everything in you just to make it through the day—and you crash emotionally or physically the moment you’re alone—that’s not “just stress.” That’s a signal your emotional resources are being stretched too thin, possibly by depression.

High-functioning depression is sneaky because it blends into your routine. But that doesn’t mean it’s not serious—or treatable.

Why People Delay Getting Help (And Why It’s So Common)

Many people delay seeking help for depression for months, even years. Why? A few common reasons include:

• “It’s not bad enough yet.” (Spoiler: you don’t have to hit rock bottom to deserve support.)
• “I don’t want to seem dramatic or weak.”
• “Other people have it worse.” (This is comparison-based gaslighting. Pain is not a competition.)
• “It’ll go away on its own.”

Sometimes it does. But when depression goes untreated, it can deepen over time and become more resistant to intervention. Early support = better outcomes. Every time.

What Seeking Help Can Actually Look Like

Here’s the good news: getting help doesn’t have to mean medication on day one or a lifelong therapy commitment (unless that’s what you want). It can start small. And it can be deeply empowering.

Support options include:

• Talking to your primary care physician, who can assess symptoms and refer you to mental health support.
• Reaching out to a licensed therapist or counselor for talk therapy (such as CBT or interpersonal therapy).
• Exploring support groups, either in-person or virtual.
• Considering medication, which can be incredibly helpful for many people when used under the guidance of a mental health professional.

You’re allowed to start slow. The first step is simply this: acknowledging you might need a little more support than you’ve been giving yourself.

Path to Vibrancy

• Track your patterns without judgment: Start a simple mood log to notice what days feel heavier and what might be helping, even a little.

• Build micro-rituals that nourish you: A five-minute walk. A warm drink in silence. One true breath before checking your phone. Small things, big impact.

• Let one person in: Text a friend, email a therapist, or mention how you’ve been feeling to someone you trust. Say the thing out loud.

• Redefine strength: Asking for help isn’t a weakness—it’s an act of self-leadership. The strongest people I know are the ones who raised their hand.

• Choose compassion over perfection: Healing isn’t linear. Be kinder to yourself than your inner critic would ever allow.

You Deserve to Feel Like Yourself Again

The hardest part about depression isn’t always the sadness—it’s the silence. The sense that you have to keep it to yourself. That it’s just a phase, or that you should be able to “snap out of it.” But here’s what I want you to remember: needing help doesn’t make you broken. It makes you human.

If something inside you is whispering that this sadness feels different—or that you’re tired of feeling this way—listen to that voice. It’s not weakness. It’s wisdom.

The version of you that feels like you again? She’s still in there. She just needs some light, some support, and a little more softness than you’ve been taught to allow. You’re not alone. And healing isn’t just possible—it’s waiting.